The Courage to say “I Forgive You”
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I’m going to be honest with you. I had an experience two weeks ago that still hurts to think about. But I wanted to share it with you, because it taught me several valuable lessons. And I feel like some of our hardest lessons are the best teachers.
My first week at my job was, honestly, a form of hell. A lot of things happened that made me really angry. I was ticked off at the company, my manager, and just… everything.
I’m ashamed to admit it, but I aimed all of that anger and frustration towards one individual who least deserved my wrath. A friend who had been there in the worst of my struggles and had supported me when I needed it most. I blamed her for no reason at all, except my hurt pride.
In public, I slandered her name as well as vented my frustration about her to a couple coworkers. I thought I was being honest, but my actions were a portrayal of my need for justice.
Of course, she had no idea I had done such a thing and still considered me a friend.
Under the circumstances, I was completely justified for feeling angry. A lot had happened to me that week, but I started to feel a little dirty for the words I had used. My heart told me I needed to apologize in a public manner, but I lacked the courage to follow through.
In the end, my poisonous words found their mark.
I can’t express to you the shame I felt when that individual sat with me and asked who I had talked to and why I had done such a thing. I have no inkling of the pain it must have caused her to have found that a supposed friend had betrayed her trust. I only know that I had caused a lot of damage for no reason except my hurt pride.
Tears were shed and we talked it through. I felt horrible for my actions and wanted her to be angry with me. However, there were 3 words that she said that have stayed with me ever since.
“I forgive you.”
My friend had every right to be angry with me. She had every right to try and get me fired. She had no reason to trust or forgive me for my errors, but she did.
Has that ever happened to you?
It’s horrible to have to be forgiven, but receiving that kindness lifted a heavy burden off my shoulders. It taught me a few important lessons that I will always remember:
1. If you have a beef with someone, have the courage to talk to them about it.
Don’t be a coward like me and ignore what you’re feeling. Don’t race to find allies to join your cause.
Talk to the individual.
If I had talked with my friend at the very beginning, I wouldn’t have caused so much conflict.
2. When somebody hurts you, have the courage to say “I Forgive You.”
I was foolish for getting so angry. I was foolish for blaming my friend. I admire her so much for having the courage to say those 3 words. I know it wasn’t easy. And it definitely took a great deal of maturity to sit with me and listen with compassion instead of anger.
I want to be like that. That takes true courage and maturity.
3. There’s always room for New Beginnings
I believe that within each individual is a seed of greatness. Although I had hurt my friend, she believed in my ability to change and seek restitution.
Since that incident, I have done all that I could to rectify those wrongs. It wasn’t easy. And it hurt. But it was what my heart told me to do.
It was the right thing to do and that’s what matters.
I don’t know the struggles you face. Maybe someone has caused you a great deal of pain or perhaps you have dealt someone a heavy blow.
Please, have the courage to follow your heart. Don’t make the same mistake I did. It’s not worth it. New beginnings are possible.
I firmly believe that and I believe in you!